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A very attractive lady goes up to the bar in a quiet pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard. "Are you the...

Fart Football The old folks no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football." A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score" After...

A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predator, the Sierra Club had a...

A cute blond country chick went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy, "Is it true what they say about men with big feet?" The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady! Why don't ya...

Dear Abby, My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheatd on me from the beginning. When I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It's so humiliating! Also, since he lost his job two years ago he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does is...

Jesse Jackson and Tragedy! Jesse Jackson is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to Words and their meanings. The teacher asks the Rev. Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy." So the...

He was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a rolled up magazine. "Ouch!! What was that for?" he asked. "That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it," she replied. "Two weeks ago...

A nun was traveling to Chicago by air. She sat down at the gate waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw a weight machine that tells your weight and fortune. She thought to herself, "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me." She went over to the machine, stepped...

Kind of like the guy applying for a job at the lumber yard, said he could tell the type of wood by the smell. The man was blind folded and the secretary was asked to bring wood in and hold it in front of him. He named every board correct, so the boss asked his secretary to walk back in...

Cost a bit more; however, this is a turn-key suggestion... Shortly after I got my Tacoma I stopped by a truck parts specialty shop to inquire what they had for bed covers that also locks the tailgate when closed. The salesmen happen to have a Undercover SE the same color as mine on his Tacoma...

Welcome aboard my friend, you are in the right place; look forward to your contribution here...

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi . . . You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job". The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent." We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man...

Thibodeaux had 50 yard line tickets for the Sugar Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "Mais, no", says Thibodeaux, "Dat seat be empty, yeah." "That's incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for...

A middle-aged woman decides to have a face-lift for her birthday. She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"...

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed...

Thank You Tide!!!! Dear Tide: I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it since the beginning of married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. In fact, about a month ago...

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So, the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure, called a...

This really is the best lawyer story of the year, decade and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and...

Depends; What color is it now, post up picture(s) if you can? Remember door jams and under the hood plus fenders will not match if you go with a completely different color...

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Natalie," the man replied. "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies.” Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the...